The Purpose In The Pain

Life is hard…the older I am getting, the more I am realizing, that life is just hard. That ‘hard’ looks different for each person. We all have our own burdens and we all carry our own particular pain resulting from suffering. As Christians, this thought of suffering sometimes surprises us. Not only are we surprised by suffering and trials; we wonder where God is in the midst of it all. We believe He saves us, He loves us, He forgives us, He will come again; but where is He when we get the news from the Doctor we were dreading? What about when we lose our job or our marriage is falling apart? Or when we are betrayed by a family member or friend? What about when we lose a loved one? What about then? Where is God then?

I admit that I have thought when facing difficulties, “Lord, I’ve faithfully served you and followed you, and this is what I get?” I’ve wrestled with this thought many times but most recently, during our time in Colorado. Through a variety of circumstances and answered prayer, we were sure God was leading us to leave NJ and move for my husband to take a job at Colorado Christian University. We packed up the home that held the memories of our growing years as a family and made all the necessary plans to head west. The summer of 2014 was filled with highs of seeing our youngest graduate High School, to the shock of getting that 6 am phone call, 4 days before we were supposed to leave, that something had happened to my, then 84 year old dad and I had to rush to Somerset County Hospital. Dad had suffered a heart attack and died instantly and unexpectedly that morning. I thought the bottom had fallen out, but little did I know that was the just the beginning of the 4 1/2 long years of suffering that was to follow. Although we can attest, and we do, to the many blessings the Lord granted us in those years (free educations for my husband and son, our daughter finding her husband, me getting my certification); silmulaniously we would navigate the most turbulent waters we had ever experienced. Grief, loneliness, persecution, betrayal , manipulation, exploitation, dashed dreams, and loss of the traditions our family fabric was so made up of; just to name a few. I can remember being in church Sunday after Sunday, literally not being able to sing the worship songs because the words were just too real. Sure before this season of life, I could boldly sing with abandon; “where you go I will follow” or “ you give and take away, my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name” But in the trenches; when I was there, when I had followed and lost much….all I could do was weep as my heart broke at the reality of those words.

Many times in prayer, I asked that question; “I followed you and this is what I get?” In my pain, I was so deceived. Where did I get the idea that if I follow God, and am obedient to Him, then He owes me a life of ease or that everything would just ‘fall into place’? Nothing in Scripture supports this. In fact, we see the exact opposite.

The Apostle Paul was charged with spreading the good news of the Gospel and writing most of the New Testament. He was a faithful servant of Jesus who traveled thousands of miles to accomplish what God had called him to do. By all accounts, he was an obedient servant of the Lord. While that is all true, what is also true is that Paul was a man who was intimately acquainted with suffering. Over his approximately 32 years of ministry he experienced many difficult hardships both physical and emotional. He admits in his writings to being in despair, feeling sorrowful to the point of groaning and brought to tears, feeling perplexed, and burning with distress. Can you relate? I can… Not only did he suffer the inner anguish that we are most deeply familiar with, but he faced insurmountable physical trials; he was imprisoned, stoned, shipwrecked, in danger of natural disaster and crime of men, he spent countless days without food or sleep, he was betrayed by those close to him and was beaten so many times, he lost count (II Corinthians 11:23-27). Talk about suffering! After all he had already endured, Paul is stricken with what he describes as a “thorn in his flesh” (II Corinthians 12:7) It could have been something physical, emotional or spiritual; we are never told exactly what it was. However, what ever it was, Paul apparently felt it was too much to bear, so he beseeched God on three separate occasions, for the Lord to remove it from him. (v. 8) Gods answer to his faithful servant, was something other than eradication. God responds to Paul by saying, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness” (II Corinthians 12:9).

Why would a loving God, the powerful Creator of the universe choose to give His grace instead of simply eliminating the problem? Because suffering puts us in a unique posture to display the power of God. “It is when believers are out of answers, confidence and strength, with nowhere else to turn but to God that they are in a position to be most effective. Physical suffering, mental anguish, disappointment, unfulfillment, and failure squeeze the impurities out of believers lives, making them pure channels through which Gods power can flow. (The MacArthur New Testament Commentary Romans 1-8, p 405). What does this mean to you and me? It means that although He is more than capable, God will not always remove the pain, the circumstance, the disease or the burden from which we suffer. He offers something better, His all sufficient grace. That means this grace is adequate enough to meet our deepest needs and deepest concerns, to help us endure and press on.

If you face cancer, will you be physically healed? I don’t know, but I do know God will give you the grace to endure. If you lose your job, will He immediately give you a new one? I don’t know, but I do know God will give you the grace to endure. When you are unjustly accused and betrayed, will you be vindicated? I don’t know, but I do know He will give you the grace to endure. If you are a follower of Jesus and have surrendered your life to Him this promise is for you. Suffering is hard and none of us can escape it, but God promises the grace to endure.

Paul David Tripp, one of my favorite authors, said something that I keep on my board in my counseling office:

“We forget that God’s primary goal is not changing our situation and relationships

so that we can be happy,

but changing us through our situations and relationships

so that we can be holy.”

See, we tend to be short sighted and want immediate relief. We can only see the here and now - But God has the big picture in mind, He thinks long-term, what is best for us. Most of us may have heard of, and like to quote, Romans 8:28, “And we know that God causes, all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose”. It gives us comfort to know that He will work all things in our life together for good - but go on to the next verse, “For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son.” (Romans 8:29). I remember a few years ago when this light bulb went on as I was studying to take my exams for my counseling certification. Wow, does this change things….So, does this mean that God causes all things to work together for good in my life…..and that “good” is that I would become conformed to the image of His Son? Yes, that is the big picture, and the thing we might not realize. God in His mercy transforms us from glory to glory into the likeness of His Son, through many things, but mostly the hard things.

So where are you today? Are you going through something that you feel is too much to bear? Do you struggle with thinking that you are owed something from God? Do you need to confess that you have think you know more or better than He does? Is it time to surrender to Him and trust His divine plan for you, knowing that He is working to conform you to the image of His Son?

If I have given the impression that this is an easy process, it certainly is not. Those closest to me will attest to the tug-of-war I have had with God through this last season of life. But I can say without hesitation that God is faithful to His word and His promises. He didn’t rescue me in the way that I expected or hoped; He didn’t remove my pain or my circumstances, but He did provide me with His all sufficient grace that I needed to endure; each day and every day. Not only that, as if that wasn’t enough, He continues to display His power through me and use me as I continue to surrender to Him.

Dear friend, keep fighting the good fight…persevere so that we may stand with Paul and say, “For I consider the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” (Romans 8:18); and, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith.” (II Timothy 4:7)

I take encouragement from Jesus’ own words;

“In this world you will have trouble, But take heart I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33b

For further study read I Peter 4:12-13 , James 1: 2-4 and Romans 5:3-5